Sydney Lang’s Essay Peer Review Response

Peer’s Essay

English 110

Section C

09/20/17

 

Upon first looking at the piece it looked well formatted, nothing extreme stood out to me that needed to be changed with its appearance, I am not sure what font it is in but I am pretty sure that we are supposed to turn formal papers in with Times New Roman. Once I got into reading the piece I started being lead in multiple directions, and I was a little unsure as to what your thesis was, but by the concluding paragraph it was clearer, so I recommend that you go back and make sure that it is clear to the reader what exactly you are convincing them of. As for your supporting paragraphs, you used many great examples from the texts, but at times I was unsure of what the purpose of some paragraphs were as I was reading them, so I suggest that you work on organizing what you want to prove to the reader in each paragraph and how your selected evidence supports your argument. Overall, I think it was a very well written essay, you just need to sit down with it and iron out what exactly you want to prove to the reader, and I think you touched upon that in the concluding paragraph, so maybe rework your thesis based on that. Awesome Job!!!