Revision Strategy: Essay #2

My Learning Log

Sydney Lang

10-18-17

English 110 C

Revision Strategy for Essay #2

My Goal:

My goal for this essay it to refine my work and focus on removing the excessive words that interfere with the clarity of my essay. Also I feel that I need to work on specifying my thesis to make it more direct as to how the young mind both benefits and are harmed by the constant flow of technology.

Plan:

My plan to attack these goals and achieve them is to look at each paragraph individually and making sure it makes sense, and to limit the ‘fluff’ in it. I also plan to make an outline so I can see what the structure of the essay looks like– without the distraction of quotes, analysis, ‘fluff’, etc. This will allow me to see where I need to clear up my fighting points and where I need to work on tying all of the supporting and body paragraphs together. I could also use the paragraph editing style by removing the unnecessary words. By using the Klinkenborg method, it will encourage me to vary my sentence structure and manage the use of unnecessary words that distract from the purpose and topic of the phrase.   

Obstacles:

The obstacles that I might face when I am trying to achieve my goal could include my tendency to overanalyze. To overcome this– I would need to identify what the most vital analysis I drew from the texts, and keep that remove everything else. Another obstacle is my tendency to use run-on sentences which often leads to lengthy paragraphs.